iGet Nothing
by BinonaGrace
Summary: Have you ever had something so good, that when it was gone you were just left with a hole? The holes in Sam Puckett's life were adding up.


**iGoodbye. What an upsetting, cry-worthy, let down. Sure, it was the end of my childhood and I sobbed my heart out, but my first ever ship not becoming canon? Na da. I don't think creddie was canon though, so there is still the chance for Sam and Cat, but I'm not sure if I'd want to see it. I love seddie, I've loved them since the beginning and I won't ever stop loving them, but Freddie has really changed. In the recent episodes he's been acting like such a jerk to Sam and I don't like it. Plus, as my favourite character I hate how Sam has literally been left with nothing but a motorcycle. Carly, her Dad, her Mum, even Freddie have all either left or treated her badly. That chiz is not right.**

**But I felt the lack of closure in iGoodbye needed addressing, so here's my account of what wishful thinking and a very open end can do to a fangirl.**

**Disclaimer: I don' t own iCarly, the greatest troll of them all Dan Schnieder does.**

_._

"_And we're clear"_

"_You have a good heart."_

"_Do you have a little crush on her?"_

"And this has been _iCarly_."

"_Dad!"_

"_I'm leaving in four hours."_

"_I love you too."_

"_If my Dad came for me..."_

"_You wanna get back together?"_

"_You wanna break up at midnight?"_

"_I'd go with him."_

_._

The Seattle night sky had never looked so peaceful. The stars seemed dimmer than usual against the backdrop, which was so dark it seemed to fit her mood perfectly. A single flashing light moved across the sky in the distance, which Sam watched until it flew out of view; out of her life. Tears had long since dried on her cheeks but she rubbed them carelessly anyway, taking the remnants of her minimal makeup with it. Things had never been perfect for Sam Puckett, but this was lowest point she'd been at.

Have you ever had something so good, that when it was gone you were just left with a hole? The hole where Carly Shay used to be tore apart the fragile pieces of Sam Puckett's life even further, and she could see no way of repairing it.

A noise behind her reminded Sam where she was; sitting on Freddie Benson's chair on the fire escape outside Freddie Bensons apartment where her and Freddie Benson had had their first kiss many years ago. How had she got there? Well, she'd been sat on her new motorcycle at the traffic lights, trying to bring forth the positives in her situation. But as the lights turned from red to green, she realised she had nowhere to _go_. Sure enough she could go back to her _Dad-less_ home and spend time with her mother who she was pretty sure _hated_ her. Or she could go to the apartment where she had just said goodbye to the last _good_ thing in her life. She could sit with Spencer and open up the pain some more by seeing how much love Spencer had for Carly but no one had that for her.

Before she knew it she was climbing the stairs two by two to get up here, reassuring Carly over the phone that _she'd be fine_ and she should just get on the plane before it goes.

There was silence.

"Benson." Sam acknowledged without turning.

Freddie ducked out of the window, "What are you doing here?"

"Contemplating the meaning of life, wishing for a better one, yadda yadda yadda…" The expected Sam Puckett sarcasm was there, but the bite didn't quite reach her eyes. Freddie tried to force himself to roll his eyes and pretend everything was fine, but he couldn't.

Taking another step out onto the fire escape, noticing the large kink in her blonde curls; "What's up with the 'do?"

"Helmet hair," Sam said dismissively and Freddie's eyebrow quirked, "Spencer gave me his motorcycle."

"What about Ryder?" He inquired, chuckling a little at the name.

"Him and Socko fell out," Sam shrugged, her tone slightly bitter, "Spencer said _I'm a good friend with a good heart_."

Freddie sat down on the window ledge, "So what's the problem?"

"Look where it's got me!" She muttered resentfully, "I have less than I did before! Now I know what it's like to have something good in my life, how can I go back to the rambunctious, angry girl with a cruddy Mom, no Dad and no prospects for anything in the future?"

Freddie blinked a few times, trying to process the information that Sam would usually not divulge, "Sam, I-"

"No, Fredderly, just forget I said that," Sam ordered, building back up the walls to her emotions, but this time the bricks seemed less stable, "I don't know why I just blurted all of that out."

For a moment Sam had forgotten who Freddie was, and what he means to her. She slipped easily back into the mind-set that they loved and trusted each other, that she could tell him everything that was on her mind. Bu tthey weren't, that wound had been so carelessly re-opened just a few hours previously when Freddie had brought up the topic of getting back together. _Like that would ever happen. _

"Sam, I... need to tell you something too," Freddie sighed, wondering if this was the right thing to do. Sam nodded him on, "I kissed Carly."

In that moment, all Sam could do was stare blankly. Shocked into silence that he could do that, only hours after saying those memorable words_; "do you want to get back together?"_

Sam attempted to pull herself together, "Huh." The words that were supposed to sound calm and nonchalant choked out with a strangled noise.

Freddie saw alarm bells, "well, technically, Carly kissed me."

More shock. This was almost worse. Her best friend, who knew all about Sam's feelings for Freddie; about her plan to become more normal, how she couldn't get over it… She had kissed him. Carly kissed Freddie. And now she was on a plane to the other side of the world, not even bothering to inform her of this.

"Did she?" It took great strength for this question to sound as cold and detached as it did. Sam gave herself a mental pat on the back.

"Yup," Freddie responded, equally as emotionless "but she's gone now, not like anything could happen if it did mean anything"

She's gone. Gone. Carly would not be back for a long, long time. It hit Sam like a ton of bricks, because for the first time she contemplated what this meant. No more sleepovers. No more trips to Carly's fridge. No more late-night gossiping. She was well and truly alone. Carly would find another Missy, hey maybe even Missy will go out to live with her, and she would be forgotten. Just like she always was.

Sam bit back this pain to concentrate on the problem at hand, which seemed almost trivial in comparison. "Did it mean anything? To you?"

Now Freddie thought about it, it had seemed like no feelings had actually been attached to the kiss. Once he had got over the triumph of finally getting that kiss from his first ever crush, he realized he felt nothing. The kiss was sweet, but had none of the passion of previous _unnamed_ encounters.

But before Freddie could try to tidy his thoughts into tangible words, he noticed the silent tears streaming down the blonde's face.

"Sam, what's wrong?"

She gave a bitter laugh and turned her head to the star filled horizon to avoid his gaze, "why don't you just go mourn the loss of the girl you truly love instead of wasting your time here?"

"Sam," he groaned, "I know it's going to be hard without Carly but we'll get through it. Just, don't push people away."

She turned her head slightly to meet his eyes, contemplating and calculating if he was sincere. In the typical Puckett way she threw all logical thoughts off the edge of the fire escape and launched herself into his arms. Narrowly missing his lips, she buried her face into the crook of his shoulder as he rubbed her back comfortingly.

_"How could I miss my true love if she's right here?"_

Immediately she froze stiff as cardboard. With labored breaths she backed out of his embrace, fixing her icy glare on him.

"What did you just say?" She spat, but the anger did not reach her eyes which studied him with quiet confusion and distrust.

"I said," Freddie started, pulling all his courage together, "that I love you."

"No you don't." Sam challenged, furrowing her brow.

"Yes I do"

"Don't lie to me, Benson"

"I'm telling the truth"

"Lies"

"No lies"

"Lies"

"Sam!"

"Freddork!"

Silence. The only sound was the whooshing of the wind as their lips melded as of one. Cheesy as it sounds; in that moment both Puckett and Benson knew they had it right.

.

**What do you think? Too emotional? Too out of character? Let me know **


End file.
